The Media is buzzing with the news that Barack Obama is going to give his daughters a new puppy, and people around the world are gossiping about what breed of dog he will choose. However, Barack Obama must be careful in choosing this puppy, as the wrong choice of puppy could offend his overly-sensitive constituents.

Here are the top 10 politically incorrect choices of Breeds:

1- German Shepherd.

German Shepherds have been forever “Godwinned” due to their preference among the Nazis. Choosing a German Shepherd puppy will likely cause Barack Obama’s Pro-Israel and Zionist Jewish constituents to kvetch.

2- Afghan Hound

This breed’s nominal association with Afghanistan, and by extension Al-Queda and Osama Bin Laden, will certainly inflame the passions of freepers, hard-line neoconservatives, and “Obama is a Muslim” conspiracy theorists.

3- Bloodhound

The Bloodhound is another breed with an unfortunate historical association. Slave holders frequently used Bloodhounds to track down, and sometimes kill, runaway slaves. Al Sharpton and the NAACP will have a field day if Barack Obama chooses a Bloodhound.

4- Chihuahua

Chihuahuas are closely associated with Mexicans, so choosing this breed will convince neoconservatives and freepers that Barack Obama must somehow sympathize with illegal immigrants.

5-Russian Spaniel

Choosing a Russian Spaniel, by the merit of the breed’s name, will also stoke neoconservatives and freepers, many of whom already believe that Barack Obama is a secret Socialist/Marxist/Communist.

6-Tibetan Spaniel

Tibet is fighting for it’s autonomy from Chinese dictatorship. While this choice of breed will doubtlessly please liberals, it will give the Chinese Government propagandic fodder with which to make international diplomacy more difficult.

7- St. Bernard

The St. Bernard is yet another breed with an unfortunate nominal association. Secularist and atheist wingnuts will see this as an endorsement of Religion, and Protestant wingnuts will see this as an endorsement of Catholicism.

8- American Eskimo

Choosing a breed that nominally targets a minority will offend the wingnuts who wish to accuse Barack Obama of racism.

9-Greyhound

Choosing a greyhound will be seen as product placement for Greyhound Bus Lines, and it will offend the Humane Society, which loathes Greyhound Racing.

10- Poodle

Poodles are tied to the idea of surrender and passive obedience, not only because they are French, but because Tony Blair was often regarded as George W. Bush’s poodle. Those who want to attack Barack Obama’s foreign policy ideology will go nuts over this choice of breed.

John McCain lost the election due to mistakes that are the hallmarks of failed High School Student Council Elections. These are four of the lessons that John McCain should have remembered from High School:

1: The Homecoming Queen is rarely a good candidate: high school kids are smart enough to realize that candidates whose main appeal is their image usually have neither the ability nor the desire to serve their community.  In choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain assumed that her image would outweigh her lack of substance. It didn’t.

2: Avoid brown-nosing the Administration: in high school, the candidate who publicly tows the Principal’s line at the students’ expense is destined to fail. By voting with President Bush against the interests of the American people 95% of the time, John McCain made just such an alignment.

3: Regular Kids resent Rich Kids and their followers: High School kids have little respect for rich kids. So when a rich kid tries to “get in” with the regular kids with the help of one of his followers, they both become social pariahs. In recruiting “Joe the Plumber” as his mascot, John McCain assumed that Joe would bolster his popularity with the middle class.

4: Don’t Play Dirty: playing dirty usually backfires and, additionally, makes a person look bad (worse) in the community. John McCain’s attempts to tie Barack Obama to terrorists, communists, extremists, and elitists had just that effect.

According to The New York Times, a recent Republican fund raising reception managed to suck more than a million dollars out of the hands of hundreds of Hillary Clinton’s fair-weather supporters, some of whom traitorously contributed more than twenty five thousand dollars of their blood money to John McCain.

This disgusting display of misplaced activism is evident that there continues to be a serious problem with self-professed Hillary Clinton “supporters” naively backstabbing her and her feminist values in order to support Sarah Palin.

In flocking to Sarah Palin, they seem unable to imagine what rights women would have achieved had the womens’ suffrage movement had been led by a beauty pageant contestant instead of Susan B. Anthony.

They also seem unable to see see how this same standard applies to modern feminism. They are convinced that a woman whom John McCain chose as his running mate solely for her beauty is more qualified to carry the Feminist Torch than women who have dedicated their entire lives to advancing women’s rights.

Many of these women chose to betray Hillary Clinton because Barack Obama, the candidate she has endorsed and who most closely supports her legacy, defeated her in the Democratic Primary race.

In a spiteful and naive attempt to hurt Barack Obama, these women are putting their energy and resources behind a candidate with a legacy of regressing, not advancing, womens’ rights.

If women take offense to their gender being the butt of jokes, then I am saddened that the profound irony of their stupidity is lost on these women.

Christopher Buckley, the son of the conservative icon William F Buckley, has resigned from The National Journal, the political journal that his father founded in 1955.

Mr. Buckley said he had “been effectively fatwahed by the conservative movement” after endorsing Barack Obama in a blog posting on TheDailyBeast.com.

In response to his endorsement of Barack Obama, conservatives bombarded Mr. Buckley with hate mail, both at the blog and at the National Review. In statements concerning his resignation, Mr. Buckley decried the conservatives’ difficulties in accepting ability and their “angry” discourse that followed his endorsement of Barack Obama.

As a final “Fuck You” to conservatives, Mr. Buckley spun Ronald Regan back at them by repeating his ironically appropriate quote: “I haven’t left the Republican Party. It left me”.

Sarah Palin, who supports overturning Roe vs wade, opposes birth control (even among married couples), opposes Abortion in all cases including rape and incest, and who, as Governor of Alaska, forced rape victims to pay for their own rape kits has decried Barack Obama’s pro-choice views as “extreme”, according to a recent article on CNN.com.

As evidenced by the arranged marriage of her pregnant teenage daughter Bristol to Levi Johnson, the boy who knocked her up, Sara Palin offers only one solution to preventing unwanted pregnancies: Shotgun Weddings. Rather than suffer the embarrassment of a bastard grandchild, force your daughter into a marriage built only on lust.

This “Shotgun Wedding” abortion view is a relic from the 1800s, so it’s no wonder that modern concepts such as women’s rights, sex education, birth control, and black politicians seem extreme to Sarah Palin.

A Quick Tact Quiz for My Readers:

Question: You are a prominent politicians hosting a political rally. While talking about your opponent, your supporters yell “TERRORIST!”, “TRAITOR”, and “KILL HIM!”. Which of the following choices is the right course of action:

A) Calmly ask your supporters to refrain from such inappropriate language
B) Have security remove and detain the supporter who threatened the life of your opponent
c) Accuse your opponent of supporting and attacking your supporters.

If your answer was C, then you might be affiliated with the McCain Campaign.

Yes, the John McCain campaign issued the below statement in response to Barack Obama’s offense at being jeered as a terrorist and traitor (and having his life threatened).

“Barack Obama’s assault on our supporters is insulting and unsurprising….It is clear that Barack Obama just doesn’t understand regular people and the issues they care about.”

It’s inaccurate to say that John McCain took the low road in refusing to defend his opponent against hate speech and death threats. There isn’t a road low enough to describe John McCain’s attacks on Barack Obama’s righteous indignation.

John McCain is counting on the tactics of the Klu Klux Klan to win this election: encourage ignorant peoples’ hate speech and threats against Negroes and hope that he can surf the wave of emotion this causes.

Sow, this piece of news just hit the wire: according to an article in Time Magazine, Barack Obama called the McCain camp at 8:30 am to propose that they “issue a joint statement in support of a package to help fix the economy as soon as possible”.

The McCain camp used the six hours between the Barack Obama’s offer and their response to it to write a public statement in which they claimed responsibility for the idea. This public statement was, of course, issued immediately after this bi-partisan agreement was finalized.

In a lecherously transparent gesture of false humility, John McCain even went so far as to offer to “delay” Friday’s upcoming debate. How noble of John McCain to put off a debate which would his comparative political weakness.