The Media is buzzing with the news that Barack Obama is going to give his daughters a new puppy, and people around the world are gossiping about what breed of dog he will choose. However, Barack Obama must be careful in choosing this puppy, as the wrong choice of puppy could offend his overly-sensitive constituents.

Here are the top 10 politically incorrect choices of Breeds:

1- German Shepherd.

German Shepherds have been forever “Godwinned” due to their preference among the Nazis. Choosing a German Shepherd puppy will likely cause Barack Obama’s Pro-Israel and Zionist Jewish constituents to kvetch.

2- Afghan Hound

This breed’s nominal association with Afghanistan, and by extension Al-Queda and Osama Bin Laden, will certainly inflame the passions of freepers, hard-line neoconservatives, and “Obama is a Muslim” conspiracy theorists.

3- Bloodhound

The Bloodhound is another breed with an unfortunate historical association. Slave holders frequently used Bloodhounds to track down, and sometimes kill, runaway slaves. Al Sharpton and the NAACP will have a field day if Barack Obama chooses a Bloodhound.

4- Chihuahua

Chihuahuas are closely associated with Mexicans, so choosing this breed will convince neoconservatives and freepers that Barack Obama must somehow sympathize with illegal immigrants.

5-Russian Spaniel

Choosing a Russian Spaniel, by the merit of the breed’s name, will also stoke neoconservatives and freepers, many of whom already believe that Barack Obama is a secret Socialist/Marxist/Communist.

6-Tibetan Spaniel

Tibet is fighting for it’s autonomy from Chinese dictatorship. While this choice of breed will doubtlessly please liberals, it will give the Chinese Government propagandic fodder with which to make international diplomacy more difficult.

7- St. Bernard

The St. Bernard is yet another breed with an unfortunate nominal association. Secularist and atheist wingnuts will see this as an endorsement of Religion, and Protestant wingnuts will see this as an endorsement of Catholicism.

8- American Eskimo

Choosing a breed that nominally targets a minority will offend the wingnuts who wish to accuse Barack Obama of racism.

9-Greyhound

Choosing a greyhound will be seen as product placement for Greyhound Bus Lines, and it will offend the Humane Society, which loathes Greyhound Racing.

10- Poodle

Poodles are tied to the idea of surrender and passive obedience, not only because they are French, but because Tony Blair was often regarded as George W. Bush’s poodle. Those who want to attack Barack Obama’s foreign policy ideology will go nuts over this choice of breed.

John McCain lost the election due to mistakes that are the hallmarks of failed High School Student Council Elections. These are four of the lessons that John McCain should have remembered from High School:

1: The Homecoming Queen is rarely a good candidate: high school kids are smart enough to realize that candidates whose main appeal is their image usually have neither the ability nor the desire to serve their community.  In choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain assumed that her image would outweigh her lack of substance. It didn’t.

2: Avoid brown-nosing the Administration: in high school, the candidate who publicly tows the Principal’s line at the students’ expense is destined to fail. By voting with President Bush against the interests of the American people 95% of the time, John McCain made just such an alignment.

3: Regular Kids resent Rich Kids and their followers: High School kids have little respect for rich kids. So when a rich kid tries to “get in” with the regular kids with the help of one of his followers, they both become social pariahs. In recruiting “Joe the Plumber” as his mascot, John McCain assumed that Joe would bolster his popularity with the middle class.

4: Don’t Play Dirty: playing dirty usually backfires and, additionally, makes a person look bad (worse) in the community. John McCain’s attempts to tie Barack Obama to terrorists, communists, extremists, and elitists had just that effect.

The Republican Party has spent the last few days in an awkward spiral of jingoism, as evidenced by a slew of controversial statements. Let’s review the events of the last few days:

Friday, 10/17:

Representative Michele Bachman (R-Minnesota) states that she is “very concerned that [Barack Obama] may have anti-American views”

Saturday, 10/18

Representative Robin Hayes (R- North Carolina) tells a crowd that “liberals hate real Americans that …believe in God.”

Sunday, 10/19

Sarah Palin levies a new line of attack against Barack Obama by implying that an Obama Presidency would be an “experiment with socialism”.

Tuesday, 10/21:

Sarah Palin is forced to apologize for earlier suggestions that some areas of the United States are “Pro-America”; and that, by association, other areas of the country are less patriotic.

My fellow Americans, this is NOT an isolated series of unrelated Gaffs. These gaffes are the embarrassing side-effect of the Republican Party’s mindset; that it can successfully use the tactics of Joseph McCarthy, a politician who gained power by publicly targeting individuals and groups as Anti-American, Communists, and Atheists.

Yes, these statements are evidence that the Republican Party is returning to the values of McCarthyism to help them win this election. They do, in fact, want to paint Barack Obama as a communist, but they can’t because they wouldn’t be taken seriously.

Instead, the Republican Party is exploiting politically convenient semantics; “socialism” is closely enough associated with “communism” to concern Americans.

What the Republican Party has risked by playing by Joseph McCarthy’s rules is the possibility of redefining the concept of the “Red Scare”.

According to The New York Times, a recent Republican fund raising reception managed to suck more than a million dollars out of the hands of hundreds of Hillary Clinton’s fair-weather supporters, some of whom traitorously contributed more than twenty five thousand dollars of their blood money to John McCain.

This disgusting display of misplaced activism is evident that there continues to be a serious problem with self-professed Hillary Clinton “supporters” naively backstabbing her and her feminist values in order to support Sarah Palin.

In flocking to Sarah Palin, they seem unable to imagine what rights women would have achieved had the womens’ suffrage movement had been led by a beauty pageant contestant instead of Susan B. Anthony.

They also seem unable to see see how this same standard applies to modern feminism. They are convinced that a woman whom John McCain chose as his running mate solely for her beauty is more qualified to carry the Feminist Torch than women who have dedicated their entire lives to advancing women’s rights.

Many of these women chose to betray Hillary Clinton because Barack Obama, the candidate she has endorsed and who most closely supports her legacy, defeated her in the Democratic Primary race.

In a spiteful and naive attempt to hurt Barack Obama, these women are putting their energy and resources behind a candidate with a legacy of regressing, not advancing, womens’ rights.

If women take offense to their gender being the butt of jokes, then I am saddened that the profound irony of their stupidity is lost on these women.

Christopher Buckley, the son of the conservative icon William F Buckley, has resigned from The National Journal, the political journal that his father founded in 1955.

Mr. Buckley said he had “been effectively fatwahed by the conservative movement” after endorsing Barack Obama in a blog posting on TheDailyBeast.com.

In response to his endorsement of Barack Obama, conservatives bombarded Mr. Buckley with hate mail, both at the blog and at the National Review. In statements concerning his resignation, Mr. Buckley decried the conservatives’ difficulties in accepting ability and their “angry” discourse that followed his endorsement of Barack Obama.

As a final “Fuck You” to conservatives, Mr. Buckley spun Ronald Regan back at them by repeating his ironically appropriate quote: “I haven’t left the Republican Party. It left me”.

By now, most Americans have heard the vicious rumors that Barack Obama is a Muslim, Arab, and/or Terrorist. Unfortunately, most Americans are unaware Andy Martin, a psychologically unhinged conservative blogger is responsible for these rumors.  Thankfully, the New York Times has exposed him.

Andy Martin was denied admission to the Illinois Bar because of concerns about his sanity. The findings of the Psychological Examination conducted on behalf of the Illinois Bar was that Mr. Martin has:

“a severe character defect manifested by well-documented ideation with a paranoid flavor and a grandiose character.”

Mr. Martin’s colorful legacy includes Quixotic gems such as:

- Filing so many frivolous lawsuits that he was barred from filing law suits in Federal Court without preliminary approval

-Listing “Exterminate Jew Power” among his purposes for running for a Connecticut Senate Seat.

- Suing the chairman of the Florida Republican Party for refusing to support him in his campaign for a Florida Senate seat.

While it may seem bizarre that a lunatic like Mr. Martin has been afforded so much credibility, the reality is a bit more tangible when you consider the role the Conservative Media has had in promoting him.

In 2004, the conservative website FreeRepublic.com published one of Mr. Martin’s press releases in which he suggested that  “Obama is a Muslim who has concealed his religion”. For the last 4 years, the freepers (avid contributers to freerepublic) have fervidly spread and exaggerated these claims.

Just last week, conservative news channel Fox News allowed Mr. Martin to assert that Mr. Obama had once trained to overthrow the government.

Nobody challenged him on this point. But when questions were raised about Mr. Martin’s appearance on Fox News, a Fox News executive defending by saying that “Mr. Martin was clearly expressing his opinion and not necessarily fact”

Sarah Palin, who supports overturning Roe vs wade, opposes birth control (even among married couples), opposes Abortion in all cases including rape and incest, and who, as Governor of Alaska, forced rape victims to pay for their own rape kits has decried Barack Obama’s pro-choice views as “extreme”, according to a recent article on CNN.com.

As evidenced by the arranged marriage of her pregnant teenage daughter Bristol to Levi Johnson, the boy who knocked her up, Sara Palin offers only one solution to preventing unwanted pregnancies: Shotgun Weddings. Rather than suffer the embarrassment of a bastard grandchild, force your daughter into a marriage built only on lust.

This “Shotgun Wedding” abortion view is a relic from the 1800s, so it’s no wonder that modern concepts such as women’s rights, sex education, birth control, and black politicians seem extreme to Sarah Palin.

A Quick Tact Quiz for My Readers:

Question: You are a prominent politicians hosting a political rally. While talking about your opponent, your supporters yell “TERRORIST!”, “TRAITOR”, and “KILL HIM!”. Which of the following choices is the right course of action:

A) Calmly ask your supporters to refrain from such inappropriate language
B) Have security remove and detain the supporter who threatened the life of your opponent
c) Accuse your opponent of supporting and attacking your supporters.

If your answer was C, then you might be affiliated with the McCain Campaign.

Yes, the John McCain campaign issued the below statement in response to Barack Obama’s offense at being jeered as a terrorist and traitor (and having his life threatened).

“Barack Obama’s assault on our supporters is insulting and unsurprising….It is clear that Barack Obama just doesn’t understand regular people and the issues they care about.”

It’s inaccurate to say that John McCain took the low road in refusing to defend his opponent against hate speech and death threats. There isn’t a road low enough to describe John McCain’s attacks on Barack Obama’s righteous indignation.

John McCain is counting on the tactics of the Klu Klux Klan to win this election: encourage ignorant peoples’ hate speech and threats against Negroes and hope that he can surf the wave of emotion this causes.

In a move that is sure to rattle Republicans more than Barack Obama’s misinterpreted “lipstick on a pig” comment, conservative columnist David Brooks decried Sarah Palin as a “fatal cancer to the Republican party”. He went on to say that, like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin prejudicially scorns not only liberal ideas, but ideas entirely. Continuing his criticism, he also added that Sarah Palin is “absolutely not ready to be president or vice president”.

Conversely, David Brooks praised Barack Obama as a “dazzling” intellectual with “tremendous powers of social perception”. Furthermore, Mr. Brooks admitted to being highly impressed by Barack Obama’s phenomenal ability to build a team of “the most impressive people in the Democratic party”, adding that the people Barack Obama has chosen are “exactly the people I think most of us would want to choose”.

Mr. Brooks also predicts a 9-Point Obama Victory this November.

It’s a powerful statement about the stability and the electability of the Republican Party when its former mouthpieces are abandoning The SS. GOP. Perhaps they know something that the rest of the Party doesn’t.

Evidently, the prospect of either himself or Sarah Palin having to participate in a serious debate with the Democratic Candidates scares John McCain to death.

Yesterday, we found out that John McCain used the excuse of Obama’s proposed bi-partisan effort to address the Wall Street Crisis to delay Friday’s upcoming Presidential Debate.

Now we learn that John McCain also wants to indefinitely postpone Sarah Palin’s upcoming Vice-Presidential debate against Joe Biden. This, after the McCain campaign begged the Commission on Presidential Debates (who is sponsoring the Vice Presidential debate) to grant Sarah Palin a de facto handicap.

Specifically, the McCain campaign pleaded that the candidates be restricted to a short, question-and-answer style debate with few opportunities for the candidates to directly respond to each other. This debate style helps Sarah Palin by sheltering her from the dangers presented by  having to stray from pre-scripted talking points.

I’m sure that Sarah Palin’s fear of an open debate with Joe Biden has nothing to do with her request to have her financial records suppressed until the day after the Vice-Presidential Debate.

John McCain and Sarah Palin fear having a free and open debate with the Democrats because they know that such a debate would expose them as the poor option that they are. There